Dialing back...just a little

My last post ended with an unnecessarily inflammatory word, "vitriolic." That comment was an overstatement; At the time of that writing, I was stung just a little by the backlash against those of us who marched on Washington. The whole "too little, too late," and "white privilege" remarks got to me for a while and tapped into my over-sensitive tendencies to feel guilty, not just about this, but about almost everything I do or do not do in my life. I'm working on it, but I'm still pretty vulnerable to feelings about never doing or being ENOUGH...so, you know...they got me!

Believe me when I say that I understand "white privilege." I wish more people that I know understood it. I often think of words and phrases that we toss around all the time without calling ourselves (and others) out. I try to stop myself from ever saying, "I work(ed) hard," for example. I am not minimizing anybody's difficulties and challenges in their work. I was a dedicated educator for over 40 years...and in a sense, I did "work hard." In fact, when talking about different "types" of teachers (beauty pageant teachers, in particular), I identified myself as a "work horse." You know, the ones who show up every single day to every single class with a plan to teach bell to bell. Never skipping out on meetings, no matter how irrelevant and tedious they were, etc. Enough of that! Here's the thing, though, I don't like to say, "I worked hard," because I have never REALLY worked hard a day in my life. My go-to phrase, which I rarely speak aloud but often think to myself is, "No you don't. You have never dug a ditch with a shovel and the sweat of your back." Now admittedly, that is a reference to some important people in my life who HAVE made their living by digging ditches and crawling on their backs into close crawl-spaces and those who have lived in the desert for months without a change of boots and with scorpions crawling all around. And sometimes I tell the story of the aftermath of Hurricane Fran, when we were without power and had to bring buckets of water from the creek behind our house to flush the toilets. But then I have to stop and think of how PRIVILEGED we ALL are who live in this country, even those who are crying "white privilege," when we stop to compare our lives to those who TRULY suffer in this world. And then I am ashamed of even my smallest complaint. My sister, a Methodist pastor, has done extensive mission work in several third-world countries (and in an almost "third world" county in NC...did you know that there is not ONE, SINGLE grocery store in Northampton County?), and I have heard her say, "The poorest people in the United States are richer than the richest people in Zimbabwe (for example)." I don't know if she knows that to be an actual verifiable fact; but even if it's not, you get the point.

But this isn't meant to be a self-shaming post. In fact, it's meant to be the opposite. I was so relieved to find this article on one of the days of my feeling "not enough" and overwhelmed by the task ahead of us. One of my FB friends thanked me for sharing it and said that she thought maybe she should read it daily. I think I probably should too.

How to Stay Outraged Without Losing Your Mind: Self-Care Lessons for the Resistance

What I Saw and Heard...and a few things I didn't

I'm back...had to take a breather. WHEW!

The smiles...

Okay, I know you probably won't believe this; but I was THERE and I am giving my testimony to what I saw and experienced. I'm not sure that I have EVER been in a friendlier more cheerful massive group of complete strangers. Folks were friendly and affable, conversational, and hospitable. Rarely a scowl. I watched one older woman (a little older than I am, I think) who was not happy with what she was hearing from the Jumbotron. I could tell that she objected to something that was being said, or it may have been the delay in movement of the crowd. In any case, all she did was purse her lips and gently shake her head from side to side. I watched her for about 15 minutes and that's as bad as it got. 

The signs...

So creative, so clever, so diverse. Anybody who thinks there was a single agenda for the half a million people who marched in Washington on January 21 is just not paying attention, then or now! What impressed me was that there were very few that even this old gal found offensive. There were a few I didn't personally care for but far more that made me cheer or smile in affirmation. I honestly did not see any signs that could be considered vulgar; to be fair, there were thousands of signs that I did not see. Here are a few of my favorites.

My friends didn't care for the one the young man was carrying, but I think I took it differently than they did. My interpretation is that men who are intimidated by strong women are more like boys and that strong men like strong women.

I can only recall ONE anti-Trump sign that I saw; I couldn't read the caption because I was too short. I could see the picture though...the famous Putin, naked from the waist up and a "fake" one of naked Trump from the waist up...well, I GUESS it was fake! Surely there were other anti-Trump signs, but aren't our eyes drawn to what we want to see?

One that I really thought was funny but that I didn't get a picture of said, "I wouldn't want to be the guy that pissed off all these women."

The sounds...

Though my friends and I arrived early to the site, we were never able to get anywhere near the "stage." As we moved around the rally, we came near several of the Jumbotrons and were able to hear , but not see, some of the speakers. The most famous people we heard were Alicia Keys, Angela Davis, and 6-year-old Sophie Cruz . Hear her inspirational presentation here:

Sophie Cruz at Women's March on Washington

There were some other sounds I want to report. The march became so big that it seemed to have covered every inch of Washington, DC, as we know it. Occasionally, there would be an audible WAVE of sound that MOVED through the crowd. It was very cool!

I can't tell you how often we heard throughout the day, "Where are you from?" followed by "Thank you for coming!" One exchange went like this: "Where are you from?" We proudly answered, "North Carolina, what about you?" "Pennsylvania...North Carolina has a lot of work to do!" PLEASE KNOW THAT SHE SAID THIS IN A FRIENDLY VOICE WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE. We answered, also with smiles on our faces, "Yes, we certainly do!"

There were anti-Trump cheers that I heard at the beginning of our adventure in the Metro and again at the end in the Metro...get ready...here it was, "Hey-ho, hey-ho! Donald Trump has got to go!" How's that for offensive, vulgar, despicable? Yes, I know...I am a Pollyanna who sees and hears the world through rose-colored glasses...but I am telling you the TRUTH as I saw and heard it...live and in person. 

My personal special moment...

Near the end of our experience, I noticed that my shoe was untied. Because the crowd was so close, I couldn't see how I could bend or squat down to tie it, so I just walked along, mindful so as not to trip. 

As we (finally) stepped into the avenue of moving marchers to get to the Metro, we got a little bit of breathing and walking space. At that point a young woman, probably in her early 30's and fit as a fiddle, tapped me on the shoulder to tell me that my shoe was untied. As soon as I turned to her smiling face to acknowledge, she said, "Do you want me to bend down and tie it for you?" She dropped down, smiled up at me and said, "Do you want a double-knot?" When she stood up from doing that kindness, tenderhearted me hugged and thanked her profusely. I just loved that sweetness! The rest of our brief exchange was this: I said, "I will tell you this, I have adult children who would have done the same thing!" And she replied, "That means they were raised right!"

If my adult children and old-enough grandchildren are reading this, don't make a liar of me! 

Coming next...the vitriolic aftermath...:(

Why I Marched

So many women (and men and children) showed up for the Women's March on Washington, and at times it seemed as though there were as many reasons. This article lists perhaps the 10 most popular reasons Solidarity--Plus 10 Other reasons. In some ways, the solidarity felt good to me. I felt as though I was doing something important that would have impact...just by showing up, even though I know that's not nearly enough. And solidarity was not the only reason. All 10 of the reasons listed in the article are important to me, some more personally than others. I can't claim to "fight" for any of them, but I hope my statements and my standing for them matter. Furthermore, I marched because I CAN...and I don't mean that flippantly. It's true that I have been upset by how our representative democracy has seemed to be slipping away, not just in the last year but for a while. Leaving aside the presidential and gubernatorial elections, I find the inability or unwillingness of the United States Congress and the North Carolina Legislature to accomplish anything FOR THE GOOD just appalling. And I admit that I was too quiet and too passive. If I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem.

And I was beginning to feel that it was hopeless to think that the voices of the people can be heard. Since registering for the WMW, I have been invited to two small, grass-roots groups of like-minded people. The resources that are being shared with me provide small easy ways to be vocal to Congress. Gathering my friends, preparing for the trip, marching in Washington, DC (one of my favorite places) , gathering resources for promoting change that I believe in make me feel hopeful again. I was asked by a reporter at the rally why I was marching; my reply was, "For LIBERTY and JUSTICE for ALL!"

Here are my personal BIG FIVE: LGBTQIA rights, immigration rights, families and education, equality and respect and gun control. Make no mistake, though, I believe in all ten of the reasons women marched...and many more. Here's a picture of my friend Pam Hardee's sign that kind of says it all! 

My support

Really can't even remember specifically what got me fired up to participate in the Women's March on Washington, but something sparked me. Since its inception, I have experienced so much unexpected support and a good amount of indirect (or unspoken) lack thereof. Believe me when I tell you that I can usually read between the lines or intuit that which is not expressed. That's okay. I certainly don't expect ANY amount of agreement or support; and I am grateful for the whispers of love and respect. 

While the stirrings were still unspoken, my sincerest wish was that my dear husband, Bob Brocious, and MIGHTY MAN (he walks softly and carries a big stick) would sanction my trip to Washington, DC. I pondered this wish for a couple of days before stepping out and telling him what I wanted to do. To my delight and with a little bit of surprise, he was (from the start) at least agreeable, if not a little bit pleased. Because he chose not to shut me down from the start, I became emboldened! Thank you, Bob, for your quiet trust and pride. 

Thank you, Lynne and Leslie, for taking the leap of faith to accompany me on this adventure and Drinda for reaching out to join us. I couldn't have felt more comfortable having you three by my side...or in front of me...or behind me...tethered by hands, pockets, belt loops! Your companionship and leadership inspire and comfort me. You are incredibly strong women. That we are (mostly) like-minded encourages me and bolsters my courage and confidence. Thank you, Jodi Brocious, for being my "back-up" person, who I knew wouldn't have let me go by myself. 

I received many expressions of encouragement through Facebook, Twitter, and email. I appreciate every single one of your "likes" or "loves" or more detailed expressions of support. 

Now I would like to be a little more specific. Here are some personal text messages that I have received over the past few days that mean so much:  

There have been many other expressions of love and support, many of them expressed in emails and on FB. I am grateful for each of them, so much more than you know. 

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'm taking another break and giving one to my readers. Be back soon! Next post...it gets REAL! 

Women's March on Washington, January 21, 2017

Yesterday, I was privileged to join the Women's March on Washington, with about half a million other American citizens. I want to use this blog to reflect, process, and share my thoughts and feelings about that experience as we as a nation move forward.

A couple of disclaimers before I really get started with the "good stuff". These points are particularly important for those of you who are reading this and did not (directly or indirectly) support my participation yesterday. I want to be clear about two possible misconceptions you may hold.

First, I did NOT plan to participate in yesterday's activities in protest of President Trump's Inauguration. If you know me, you know that I did not support his election. I also do not respect him. Period. I also know that as an American citizen I have the constitutional right to protest against him if I choose to; but that was not my purpose yesterday...too late for that, even if I had been so inclined. I do respect and honor the office of the presidency and most importantly I do respect our DEMOCRACY. Therefore, I do not use the popular phrase "Not My President." He IS my President because he is POTUS and I am an American citizen. (Thank you, dear husband, for helping me articulate this thought and feeling) I plan to do all I can, in my small ways, to hold him accountable to ALL the citizens of the United States of America. My ticket was purchased and my registration entered before Inauguration. 
Naive as I can be sometimes, I was hopeful (beyond all evidence to the contrary) when I watched President Trump's Inaugural Address that he would be able somehow to come up with 15 minutes of grace, humility, gratitude, and dignity. I was devastated that he couldn't (or wouldn't). I was very sad for President Carter, President Clinton, President Bush, and President Obama when he chose to trash our great nation...right in their faces. So I was left with only one positive thought from the whole viewing experience. First Lady Malania's dress was STUNNING! 
So, if I am being honest (which I'm TRYING to be), I will say that the longer I was there yesterday, the more aligned I felt with those (few...really...it didn't seem to be the main agenda of most of the people I saw and heard) who were there to protest President Trump. 
My cousin, Sheba Lane, posted this on FB, "Trump, Look around. Stand up to a microphone and say that you hear, understand, and accept us all as your country's citizens instead of continuing to resent that we didn't vote for you. You won. Now lead. Learn the art of the new deal." I really wish he would...JUST ONCE...do that!

Secondly...and this disclaimer is most important for my children and grandchildren...I STRONGLY dislike and disapprove of the use of the word, "pussy," at any time and in any context. It's even hard for me to write it. My friends, Lynne and Leslie, and I talked about this. It's "complicated." We didn't like that it became a sort of anthem, but we understand how and why it did. We didn't use it; but again, I respect the constitutional right of others to do so. The pink hats, though I don't like what they are called, made quite an impression...and I know of many women that I love and respect who didn't hesitate to embrace their impact. 

I must say that I don't know how we can be offended that President Trump uses the word (and so many others that are offensive to us) and then turn it around to our anthem. Here's a FB post from a friend, Eva Phillips (daughter of the late, great A. Craig Phillips, former State Superintendent of Public Instruction...and Eva is current Ready Schools Coordinator at Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Schools) who made a great point: Watching the live broadcast of the Women's March on Washington with our son. It's hard to wrap my head around the reality that we now need to explain and discuss vulgar words and topics that are being discussed regularly in society with our 11-year-old because of things our new President has said and done. So, young parents in my life, you have some 'splaining to do. It's important...do it! Don't ignore it...because your children won't understand how this word became part of the public discourse. 

Wow! That's more than enough for now and I haven't even gotten to the GOOD STUFF. I'm going to take a break...and give my readers a break...I'll be back soon.